white and black…

I am uninspired, just on the verge of tears

The white and black of it all, the serenity:

Cold marble floors touch a fresh ablution.

My mind wanders to a prettier world:

Cool. And clean.

Cool and clean: interrupted by the stupidity of reality.

I can not make it stop.

I can not make it stop because, Because it is my life.

I can not stop the words, substitute them, turn them down:

Because they are real.

They are what is real and my cold, white, and black is not.

simplify…

i grow older, the fights: they are the same.

cut open my cartoid artery with that broken record

and let me bleed out an answer because i can’t solve this with my brain.

spearmint walk with me, take me to a place of no ambiguity.

hey who’s on trial…

It’s the crossing over in your face, the way you (don’t) comb your hair,

It’s the fantasy I see; the reality is not there.

Nice face.

Nice brain.

It’s the air that I become, when you look in my direction

Your name on the A-list, et al, a bad reflection

Brown face. Sensitive to light. Basketball shorts. (sans) Briefs.

Wear the beach around your neck,

I wear the beach around mine

Enjoy it while it lasts, Rosemary tinted glasses.

Vicarious Love…

She has became the vessel I ride to my dreams,

“A source once scorned” and dismissed:

Is now the object of lurid scrutiny.

The cellar door, it tempts me, shines light on an insipid girl.

I neither strive towards it, nor vociferously resist. I’m unsure.

I am not an enigma. You win.

truth at 3:10 am…

i’m still too immature to detect manipulation.

how many must i go through before i can fully grasp the evil in mankind

do i want to? no

do i need to? obviously

is gaining and retaining knowledge my forte? obviously: no.

is self depreciation something honored? only i can decide.

does it eat me up inside? it eats me up inside

and outside and sideways.

I choose hide. I…

Am so lost.